- New Year - Feels Good!
- January 1st, 2011
Happy New Year everyone!
Wow I haven't posted since September...need to change that. Get my thoughts out more often. Anyway...
Had a great night. David and Esme came round, we had dinner, played music and spent the evening discussing various things as we always do. Told stories, made jokes, watched the fireworks that other people were firing because my balcony (basically a door with a railing before you think I'm rich enough to actually have a balacony :P) overlooks a lot of Nottingham and you can see lots of fireworks. It was almost a magical moment.
There were people lighting Chinese lantens too, and a group of people dressed in fancy dress (eg superman) were lighting some just below us, so we watched and cheered with them when they lifted properly. They tried to throw us some party poppers to 'pop' into the new year with them in celebration....but it was dark, we couldn't see the thrown popper, plus third floor and to the side, not straight up, making it more difficult to throw. But it was one of those rare occassions when people just want to include other people in their celebration. It was lovely.
As me and Esme stood there I commented on it being one of those very few united moments. A moment in time when everyone in the country are celebrating the same thing, and there is a level of bonding that you can feel with the rest of humanity when you think about that. No matter who you are, what you were doing to celebrate, it was together, and it helped remind me that we are all connected in some way, just standing there and letting the moment wash over me.
I had a couple of nice realisations last night that I'm not sure whether to go into because they were difficult enough to put into words when speaking them. But it was mostly about Artemis, and my interest in her - drawing me to believe I have a connection to her, and I identify with her as a part of myself, or at least who I want to be and who I see me being inside within a world of limited freedom to be so. Then I realised that what Davd was discribing as Artemis (independant, strng woman, huntress etc) was perhaps another reason I have taken in and identified so much with Xena as a person and a programme. There has been much discussion on why that show above all others means the world to me and it's more than it just being a show (goes deeper but I won't get into that now), but that identification was interesting to me. Very interesting indeed.
I also without a doubt love David and Esme. To find people who just accept every part of me without trying to change it or call me nuts or too obsessive, and in fact understand and try to help me understand the importance of the wierd things in my life. Last night I was standing at the railing with Esme and I could feel my heart was full, something I had not quite acknowledged before. Love is a word I've used toward them before, but in that moment I realised how much. I thank whoever or whatever has allowed them to be in my life, because without a doubt they have helped enrich it.
In this moment I need to acknowledge the only people I deem true friends. The ones I know without a doubt will be there is I desperatly need them, and the ones I know I would be there for in the same circumstance. Only 2 people spring to mind though others are on their way...
1. Ape - a constant source of inspiration and a shining example of someone who won't go away once she's got her claws into you. Not that I would ever try to send her away. No matter how many times I see her or talk to her I never feel completely satisfied and yearn to spend more time with her.
2. Lee (Amy) - one of those friends you never want to let go of. Another source of inspiration but for a different kind of creative outlet. Someone who will listen to me rant and not judge me for it. And agin somone who would only go away kicking and screaming which I am conastantly grateful for.
The ones that I haven't mentioned (e.g. Liz, Sandy, Dre, Amber) I am stll getting to know. I adore each one of them and fully acknowledge that they are and will continue to play very important and vital parts in my life.
Enough of my sentimental stuff...enjoy 2011! I had a very good feeling last night so hopefully for me this year will be one of good change!